College hook-up culture creates toxic views of intimacy

BY HANNAH BROOKS

Multimedia Journalist

College is often portrayed as a time of freedom, experimentation and no-strings-attached relationships. But behind the jokes and movie stereotypes, hookup culture is more complicated, messier and at its core, more foolish than it seems.

We’ve all heard the stories that make us cringe for the people involved: one-sided feelings, sexually transmitted surprises, regret, emptiness and the lingering sense of being taken advantage of. The list goes on endlessly. It’s called the “walk of shame” for a reason.

Interestingly, out of all the hook-up experiences I’ve heard about, never once have I thought, “Wow, that sounds like a healthy situation that went really well.”

That would be an exceedingly rare experience. 

In fact, I’d put my money on the idea that the nature of hook-up culture relies on the opposite. Keep reading, and I’ll explain what I mean.

This is not going to be a religious piece. Nor will it be anecdotal (not directly anyway). Instead, it’ll consider the vast list of things that could (and eventually will) go wrong by indulging in this lifestyle. 

The word ‘indulging’ is purposefully picked. Sex can feel like a treat. It releases intense pleasure-inducing hormones, but that moment of anatomical bliss does not tell the full story.

Let’s start by listing some things we know. Scientifically speaking, sex is primarily for procreation, to make a baby. So then, simply put, having sex equals the possibility of making a baby, even if that was not the goal of the activity. 

Some would argue that contraceptives remove that concern. Well, the data shows most people aren’t using protective measures the way they should. 

A study in the Journal of Health Communication asked participants to rate condom use on a scale from 1 (never) to 5 (always), and the average response was 3.56, indicating that condoms are sometimes used but not consistently among young adults. Basically, it’s a 50-50 usage. 

But even with proper protective measures, there’s not a single product on the market with a 100% success rate. It’d be quite unfortunate then, for the woman who falls into the 1-27% of contraception failure. 

These statistics are also based on perfect and consistent use of contraceptives, which the previous data on usage already established isn't happening. And most of the time, it’s pretty unfortunate for the baby too. 

Next thing we know: the possibility of a medical price. This hazard of ‘casual sex’ is especially ruinous. 

At the start of the sexual revolution in the 1970s, physicians had to worry about only two or three sexually transmitted diseases, and now it’s more like two or three dozen. 

Eight specific pathogens are linked to the highest incidence of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), with four being curable (syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, trichomoniasis) and four being viral (hepatitis B, herpes simplex virus, HIV, HPV). 

There is no cure that eliminates the virus from the body; there is only treatment and management. 

You may be thinking, “Those are very rare cases, and most people are careful about that sort of thing.”

The data suggests otherwise. While the Tarleton State University Student Health Services does not release STD diagnoses, testing rates or incidence among the student body, a look at Erath County public health data reveals that gonorrhea rates have risen in recent years, revealing a broad upward trend in STI cases within the surrounding community.

And its apparent popularity at Tarleton has even earned a nickname, “The Texan Tickle.” This is a fun trivia question.

The idea that most people are cautious relies on another assumption: that individuals are fully informed about their partner’s sexual history, including the sexual histories of each of their partner’s previous partners. 

That’s right, when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases, it goes that far back. If that doesn’t give you an icky feeling, you ought to reevaluate some things. 

Some people can swerve these past two concerns, but no one leaves emotionally unscathed. In many cases, these encounters alter self-perception, and someone leaves the arrangement feeling used, which often turns into feelings of worthlessness or feeling ‘cheap’. 

Because hookup dynamics depend on emotional detachment, they can signal a level of emotional unavailability. And emotional distance has a paradoxical pull. 

It can attract deeply compassionate or empathetic individuals who feel drawn to invest more than the situation was ever designed to hold, believing they can cultivate connection, where little exists. I’ve seen this happen time and time again.

Hookups also carry social consequences, especially within close-knit college communities. Tarleton may be growing, but it’s still a pretty small social ecosystem. Private encounters can quickly become public knowledge through gossip or social media. 

This damages reputations, strains friendships and creates awkwardness within friend groups, especially if multiple people are involved over time. 

And unfortunately, gender double standards still exist, meaning women are likely to face harsher judgment for the same behaviors that earn males’ social approval. These social pressures intensify the emotional impact of a hookup gone wrong.

Then there’s the concern of consent. A lot of hookups are facilitated by alcohol or drug usage, which greatly impairs judgment and blurs communication. 

Misunderstanding comes easily in these situations. Many might scoff at this, but the consequence of missing this crucial detail can be criminal charges for sexual assault, rape, lengthy prison sentences, substantial fines or even mandatory, often lifetime, sex offender registration.

And perhaps this one is personal (though likely not uncommon), but the thought of one day telling a future spouse how many others shared those same intimate experiences is not something to look forward to. 

When something is shared so widely, the very definition of intimacy begins to lose its meaning.

The issue isn’t just sentimental; it’s also philosophical. There’s a common myth that says, to make wise choices about sex, you must experience it, just like anything else. And it’s true that some things in life are like this. 

But other things aren’t like that at all. No one would claim you have to try drugs to become wise about them. 

There are a ton of behaviors where experience doesn’t produce wisdom and even reinforces poor judgment. Think about gambling, substance use, pornography consumption and social media validation. Casual sex encounters absolutely fall into this category. 

These behaviors don’t clarify judgment through repetition; they train it. Because they’re reward-driven, the urge to seek the dopamine spike grows stronger while reflective evaluation becomes secondary, making reinforcement feel like growth.

Regardless of what your beliefs are, the rational individual has to look at all of these dangers and wonder if maybe there are certain premises in which sex should be had – if the superficial pleasure of a careless night is worth the dangers. 

The question of empowerment deserves scrutiny. Hookup culture’s real impact is the visible mutation of healthy views of intimacy, relationships and self-worth.

If you find yourself struggling to step out of this cycle or working through trauma connected to it, know that this struggle deserves attention, not shame. Healing begins with honest reflection and the courage to ask for help. 

If you’re ready to take a step toward support, you can call 254-968-9044 to schedule with Student Counseling Services on the Tarleton Stephenville campus or visit the office in person on the first floor of the University Health Center (Traditions North). 

In addition, all Tarleton students have access to the TELUS Health Student Support app, which offers free 24/7 counseling by phone or chat, along with short-term telehealth sessions. Help is accessible, confidential and already covered by student fees. Sometimes the hardest part is simply reaching out.