Saying goodbye to a place I didn’t know I needed

BY CAROLINE CRAIN

Editor-in-Chief

I’ve been putting this off longer than I should, because writing it makes everything feel so much more real.

College has a way of moving faster than you expect. Looking back now, it’s hard to believe how much has changed, and how quickly it all became familiar.

This last semester especially has moved at a pace I could barely keep up with, but it has also been one of the most meaningful seasons of my life.

When I first came to college, journalism wasn’t even on my radar. I started in engineering because math and science had always made sense to me. I liked structure, and I liked knowing what came next.

Even so, I had a connection to journalism before I ever stepped into a newsroom. In high school, I competed in UIL journalism. I even considered applying for what was then just the J-TAC while I was still in engineering. I went back to my high school journalism advisor and pulled old writing samples just in case I needed them later.

But at the time, I did not have the space to pursue it. I stayed where I was… until I couldn’t. 

Eventually, I had to admit engineering was not where I belonged. I loved the people I met there, and mentally facing that realization was incredibly difficult. It was hard enough that I seriously considered stepping away from college altogether.

But a voice — mostly my mom’s — told me to keep going.

So I found my way back to journalism, something I thought I had left behind. My first journalism class is where I found Mr. Austin Lewter and the Texan News Service.

Lewter made something intimidating feel possible. It still felt like a big jump at first, but the newsroom and the editors at the time made it approachable instead of overwhelming.

I started as an MMJ and eventually became news editor, then editor-in-chief. I never expected that kind of progression for myself, especially not when I started college unsure of my direction in the first place.

But TNS trusted me with more than I thought I was ready for, and that trust shaped everything that came after

I will always remember getting moved up to news editor my second semester. It was not something I expected, and it meant a lot to be trusted with more responsibility, bigger stories and leadership so early on.

Some of my favorite memories are not tied to one moment, but to routines that became part of weekly life.

Tuesday SMAC meetings are one of those. Those meetings became my favorite part of the week, just getting to sit in a room with everyone and talk about anything and everything for a bit.

Then there were the deadline nights. This semester especially, late nights became normal. Some nights meant editing until three or four in the morning. It could feel endless at times.

But at the same time, it was rewarding in a way that is hard to explain. It was also incredible to watch writers grow in real time, to read their stories, see their voices develop throughout the semester and be part of helping shape that process. That part stayed with me far more than the exhaustion.

One of the biggest experiences I will carry with me is the New York trip with Brenna, Gavin, Andrew and Lewter for the College Media Association.

Touring The New York Times made journalism feel larger than anything I had experienced before. It made my work feel real and powerful and global.

But I also remember the smaller moments just as clearly: exploring the city with Brenna, seeing the Statue of Liberty, standing in front of Van Gogh, Monet and Picasso at The MoMA and ice skating for the first time at Rockefeller Center while Frank Sinatra played as it started to pour down rain. It felt unreal, like one of those moments you know you’ll remember forever while it’s still happening.

To Gavin, Andrew and Brooklyn, thank you all so much for the work you put in this semester as sports, news and feature editors. You made my job easier in ways I don’t think I ever said out loud enough. Having editors I could trust made all the difference, and I’m incredibly grateful for the way you each showed up for your sections and for the newsroom as a whole.

To Bethany, as managing editor this semester, you were a constant source of support. You helped carry so much of the workload and kept things steady when it felt overwhelming. I could not have gotten through this semester without you. I have not an ounce of doubt that you will do an incredible job as EIC next semester.

To Brenna, you have been one of the most important people in my college experience. From meeting you on my very first day of college, to grabbing lunches, to joining TNS together and even living in the same house, you have been a steady presence through all of it. I do not know what college would have looked like without you.

To Lewter, you have been there since the beginning of my time in TNS. You were the first face I saw in the newsroom, and from the start were supportive and encouraging. You believed in me more than I ever could have believed in myself and gave me opportunities that pushed me to grow into roles I never expected to hold. I am so grateful for your guidance and for the way you have shaped my experience here.

To my family, thank you for supporting every change of direction, every late night and every uncertain step along the way. I hope to have even half paved the way for the amazing things my sisters will do. I love you all more than you can imagine.

And to TNS, thank you for giving me a place to learn, grow and belong. I will forever be grateful for this chapter.