Making the most of new beginnings

BY: BROOKLYN MCKINNEY

Feature Editor

I still remember getting on the bus for Duck Camp at Tarleton State University and feeling so nervous I was going to vomit. I had already spent the last six months hiding in hoodies and baggy sweatpants whenever I had to go to the store in my hometown after my three-year relationship ended because I was getting really tired of all the questions.

“Where is he? Wait, you guys aren’t together anymore?”

The truth is, I almost didn’t go. I’m pretty sure I begged my mom to let me have a sleepover with my only friend at the time instead, who was about to attend cosmetology school in Fort Worth.

I mean, you’re telling me I actually have to talk to strangers who might ask me stupid questions like what my major is?

I didn’t necessarily write this to slander a high school ex-boyfriend I couldn’t care less about now, but I will say that I wasn’t exaggerating. 

I really only had one friend at the time because every time I was invited somewhere in high school, he suddenly became ill or depressed or was “just having a bad day” and needed me to take care of him.

I probably lacked more confidence than most incoming freshmen I met, but almost anyone can feel unsure of themselves while navigating the huge life transition that is college.

While this was originally going to be satire, I want this to be a guide for anyone else who might be feeling the pressure and anxiety that can sometimes come with starting over. And also, a reminder, it is possible for life to get better, even if you take a few detours along the way.

How to pick the right major

To be honest, I attended orientation as a business marketing major because that’s what my dad told me I should pick when I was filling out my college application. However, after speaking with my advisor, I quickly realized I would have rather jumped off the third floor of the engineering building than subject myself to a college math course. (I still had to take college algebra, and yes, I survived.)

Because I told her I liked to write and read, she suggested communications. While I believe everything worked out exactly how God intended, if I could go back in time right now, I would have chosen something I was actually able to nerd out about, like forensic psychology or English.

The truth is, it doesn’t matter if anyone tells you that your interests are weird or that you shouldn’t want that kind of job, because almost no one in your shoes actually knows what they want to do with their life for the next 10 years. 

Even if you don’t think you could do the types of careers that align with the subject you love right now, you will mature and develop so much over the next four years.

While earning a degree in general is a great step towards a future career, what’s going to make you stand out among a sea of other graduates isn’t the subject on that piece of paper, rather the unique experiences you personally have that would add value to the role.

For example, I got a communications internship this summer at an anti-trafficking nonprofit in Fort Worth that usually hires people with social work, law enforcement or psychology backgrounds. 

Because crime has always been of interest to me, I wrote a few articles that got published in a local newspaper about trafficking in Texas. 

These not only made me stand out to the woman who took me on as her intern, but they also helped me discover what career I actually wanted to pursue after graduation.

After an almost two-hour-long phone call with a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) volunteer, I realized I wanted to be just like her when I grew up.

She was not only compassionate enough to give me the time of day as a student journalist, but she had also supported children and families navigating the foster care system for over 10 years.

While I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life at college orientation, I know now that I want to dedicate my life to advocating for anyone needing their voice to be heard in a court case, all because I chased a story I was passionate about.

How to pick the right friends

Truthfully, I never thought I would have any close friends in college, much less someone funny enough to walk into the first day of their semester with a hot pink “I have rabies” shirt with full confidence, or a group of women who were kind enough to cook me dinner, play board games and watch “White Chicks” together after writing “We love you” on my mirror, after a particularly rough day. So if you have trouble finding your people at first, you’re not alone.

Sure, go ahead and hang out with that random group of people you met at Duck Camp your freshman year. Don’t wait on someone else to make you feel like you belong before experiencing college.

However, I do wish I had waited on my best friends before I became emotionally invested in other people.

While people are going to overcomplicate it by saying you need to join Greek Life or five other campus organizations to find what’s right for you, the truth is you just need to be curious about people.

Maybe if you enjoy reading, strike up a conversation with the next person you see with an interesting book in the library. You could even make a really dark joke about your trauma and see if they laugh with you. (This is a great vibe check, if you ask me.) 

While I did drop a sorority, I met some of my best friends there. And almost no one I connected with had the same major or even stayed in the same organizations, but we did bond over some oddly specific interests like poetry, Criminal Minds and rock music. Chances are, you’ll have a similar experience.

It’s OK if this doesn’t work out exactly how you want it to in your first year, or even your first two years. It’s never healthy to rush any kind of relationship, romantic or platonic.

Whether this is your first year in college and you still have no idea what you’re doing here, or it’s your third and you think you might want to change your major, there’s never any shame in starting over.